The Perspective Twelve Years Can Give

It was twelve years ago, today, that I made Oreo cookie brownies that were never given as a birthday present. The snow started falling, that night. I was 17. Old enough to know I didn’t want to be stuck at home with my family when the world was blanketed with white, but too young to be trusted to drive anywhere in wintry conditions.

This was the South, after all. That part of America where weathermen can hardly contain their ecstasy at the idea of 5 inches. Of snow. In February. Imagine the eye rolling of Midwesterners at the idea of The Storm of the Century amounting to less than half a foot of snow.

In my case, I was giddy with relief when a friend within walking distance insisted that a group of us meet at her house to weather the storm. I didn’t ask permission to go, I told my parents that I was leaving and asked if I could wear an old pair of my dad’s coveralls so I didn’t freeze. Bundled in coveralls, a forgotten toboggan from the early 1980s, some gloves and Timberlands I told them where I’d be and that I’d be back after the snow melted. I’m sure that I was just a lovely daughter.

I trekked the 1.1 miles to my friend’s house, dodging very few cars on the way. People were told to stay home and keep warm – don’t cause a problem by going out. I felt like a rebel or maybe like a survivor after the end of the world – it was quiet on that normally busy section of Main Street.

Once at her house, I abandoned all outer clothing in deference to the heat they always had cranked up to at least 80 degrees. Sitting on the couch in their living room was akin to parking your ass in a kiln. The main heating vent in their house was covered by a huge, gloriously comfortable, plaid couch, because that’s just how the living room furniture arrangement worked best. I never quite understood it, but I’ve always remembered it.

This particular friend was one whose kitchen was always well stocked with comfort food and whose refrigerator was piled with beer and whose parents weren’t so concerned that we drank a lot of that beer at 17 years of age. In true preparation of a snowstorm, this particular friend had also stocked up on the best lay-on-the-couch-in-your-pajamas-all-day movies. We were set. Except, this was sort of a bad thing. You see, like pretty much every teenage girl in America, we had all decided that we were too fat. Just a month before, we’d all joined the same gym and a contest called “The Best Shape of Your Life.” This contest didn’t encourage typical snowstorm activity, excluding the shoveling of snow (which none of us were in danger of doing). It was the beginning in a LONG line of such events in my life. Funnily enough, even before I started that contest my 17-year old body held the title of “Best Shape” of my life up to and including the present day.

Another couple of friends made treks from their houses to this central meeting point for weathering the storm. We tried to convince another to hike the 4 miles from her house but she was the baby of that family and, as such, wasn’t allowed or inclined – knowing she’d be spoiled enough at home. There were four of us, and we’d spend the next four days together, thinking we ruled the world the way we ruled that house.

The memory of that weekend, twelve years ago, came to me this morning when I woke up and thought about what day it was. That weekend was a cusp of sorts. It marks the last significant memory I can remember before I fell in love for the first time, before I had my heart broken for the first time. It’s representative of everything that I loved about being a teenager – the group of girls that I called friends, the fun that we had, the absolute way we did exactly what we wanted without any sort of worry. That memory is a perfect representation of confident youth on the cusp of adulthood – before all the messy stuff happens and that youth is lost.

It makes me more than a little sad to examine that memory and contrast it with today. It makes me want to have time travel ability.

I would go back and tell two of the girls to “play nice” in the future, to tell them that a boy (that was nowhere near their radar, at that point) really wasn’t so important.

I’d tell a different two girls to take a step back, when the time came, and try to gain some perspective on the issue. Was one night really worth losing a lifetime friendship over?

I would tell one of those girls to stick to her guns. On that exact weekend, she debated with those girls whether or not she really wanted to go on a date with a boy that kept pestering her in her history class. She lamented that she was having a lot of fun in life without a boyfriend, but it would be nice to have a date to prom. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just go on a couple of dates and have fun – surely it wouldn’t turn into anything – and besides, she’s going to college in a couple of months and she did NOT want to be one of those girls with a boyfriend back home. I would tell her to remember those thoughts and stick to them, they would serve her well in the end. I would tell her that the wasted effort of making Oreo brownies for someone that would never appreciate them would only be the first in a long line of well-intentioned acts that would turn awry.

I would tell those 17-year old girls to relish that time in their lives. I’d tell them that the next 12 years would bring all manner of events their way – events of happiness and heartsickness – events of great accomplishment and events of great embarrassment. I’d tell three of them that, in twelve years, they’d still have worries but they’d also be living incredibly wonderful lives. For the fourth, I’d tell her that I’d have no idea what she’d be doing in 12 years, but that I’d wish her well and that I’d be sorry at the same time I’d be resigned to the loss of a friendship.

Financial Goals & Results – January 2009 Edition

Even though I make my living in the finance world, I’ve never been so great at managing my own finances, responsibly. I am the Queen of Entitlement Spending. It’s silly. I wish that I had listened to all the people in my life who tried to teach me about using credit cards, responsibly. Needless to say, I didn’t. At the beginning of 2009, one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to “Get significantly closer…to being revolving-debt free.” Unfortunately, with wedding and honeymoon saving happening, that year, I didn’t do extremely well on that resolution. However, I made one key shift in my actions: I stopped using credit cards. That’s a big deal for a lot of people. I’m one of them.

I’m ready to get serious about my finances, which makes sense because two of my goals in the 101 in 1001 challenge are:

  1. Pay off all debt besides mortgage.
  2. Build a $3,000 emergency fund.

In order to accomplish the first of these finance goals, I researched methods of debt repayment and settled on The Snowball Method. Basically, you list all of your debts in order from smallest balance to largest. You commit to making the monthly payment on every debt, plus some amount that is called the snowball. That snowball, plus the monthly minimum, is applied to the first debt on the list until it is paid off. Then, Debt 1’s payment amount + the snowball + Debt 2’s monthly payment amount is applied to Debt 2 until it is paid off. This continues until all debts are paid. I’m a lover of spreadsheets, so I sought out one on the internet and am happy with the Debt Reduction Calculator I found at Vertex42.com

As part of a monthly recurring feature, I plan to list on this blog my successes and failures at this self-imposed payment plan. At the beginning of January, my total outstanding debt stood at $28,192.42. That’s pretty astounding when I look at it in print. This amount includes every debt that is in my name, excluding mortgage debt. Basically, that means credit cards and student loan debt (silly student loan debt – I could have gone to school free!). I decided that the total monthly payment I can handle (minimums + snowball) is $986.65. A random number, I know, but it’s what I can make work if I try hard to control my spending and remain disciplined! If I stick to this payment schedule, I will pay off $33,883.25 (current balance + interest) by September 2012. So, 33 months. I think I can do it.

While this debt payment schedule is ongoing, I am also striving to meet that second goal of building a $3,000 emergency fund. I set this goal to be realistic. It’s not the end goal. That amount wouldn’t last us long in the event of a job loss or emergency. However, it is a start on the eventual goal of building up at least six months of living expenses. At today’s living expenses, that goal stands at right around $10,000. In the event of an actual financial emergency, we could live on much less, but it will be nice to have a cushion. I also like the roundness of that amount!

With all of this explanation out of the way, let’s get to actual results.

Success – Paid, in full, two credit card balances.

Success – Opened an additional ING account for emergency fund.

Success – Saved $166 for the emergency fund.

Success – Tracked all spending for one month.

Failure – Short $16 in saving target for emergency fund.

Failure – Charged a portion of a vacation to one credit card.

Please feel free to ask me questions about my goals, my plans to achieve them and my methods or just to share your own experiences.

February – The Least Favorite

I keep seeing Facebook status messages and tweets that relay how happy the user is that today is the first day of February. They love February! They like to delude themselves that it’s almost spring. Plus, there’s Valentine’s Day! Everybody loves that!

I hate February. It’s just not a good month. It’s weird with it’s only 28 days. It’s dreary and gloomy where I live in February. It’s the point in which I officially am ready for my favorite season to change into the next one.

Because I know that February is the grossest month and because I am going to try not to complain my way through an entire 28 days, I’ve decided to plan fun things to do during this month of grayness (although the sun is out, today!). I am going to look on the bright side, with these fun outings happening. I’m also going to try to do better at documenting these experiences (only 32 photos in January, and 12 of those were crafting-related!). Here are my chances to have fun:

  • This weekend, I may get the chance to preview some kayak porn (whitewater videos) at a friend’s house. However, that is looking iffy because The Husband seems to have some horrible cold, and I’m trying to pretend that my sinuses aren’t giving the tiniest little pricks of severe pain that certainly means that I am going to get it, too.
  • The Super Bowl is in less than a week. My team isn’t in it, of course, but I love/hate the Super Bowl. I love football, so it figures that I love it’s biggest game. I hate the end of football season, so it is with mixed feelings that I want to see the New Orleans Saints win, this year. After Week 2 of this season (Week 1 was spent in Philadelphia), I told The Husband that the Saints would win the Super Bowl. He looked at me like I was crazy, but he did have to admit that Drew Brees was pretty much had a laser, rocket arm. Don’t get me wrong, I do actually like the Colts and I like Peyton Manning. I just like for teams that have never even been to the Super Bowl win things like that.
  • My relatives have concocted a crazy party idea for Valentine’s Day weekend. My aunt and uncle are hosting a party at my parents’ house. That sounds confusing, but it makes sense, logistically. Anyway, this is a Valentine’s Day Karaoke Prom Party. My mom and aunts have been working hard to figure out what sort of prom dress they’ll wear and how they can con their husbands into going along with the theme. I am to be the karaoke DJ, taking signups and regulating so that there isn’t too much rap for the old folks or crap for the young folks. This party, of course, also has a signature drink.
  • I snagged tickets (today! they were sold out, before! thank you whoever sent yours back!) to see Sam Bush at The Grand Theatre. I admit to not being a huge fan of Sam Bush, but it’s been a lack of commitment on my part, not a lack of liking his music. I just need to seek it out and listen to it more! Most likely, that means I’ll download a bunch of songs and drive my coworkers crazy from now until February 18.
  • It’s likely that the weekend of the 19th will include a trip to Cincinnati. I want to buy a ton of stuff from Ikea, and both The Husband and I enjoy a good shopping trip to Jungle Jim’s – home of every single food item imaginable. I think that Duchess Jane and her dad would really like it.
  • The last weekend of the month portends to be the most EPIC. The kayaking club that we belong to, Bluegrass Wildwater Association, is hosting the National Paddling Film Festival. This is a weekend full of LOTS of kayak porn, lots of great locally brewed beer, a fantastic silent auction, and a chili cookoff. This year, it’s being hosted at Buffalo Trace Distillery, so I think there’s also a bourbon tasting that will happen.
  • On the crafting front, I have one deadline to finish The Purple People Eater quilt. I have another deadline to finish an item for a friend, and I’ll be starting on a super not-so-secret wedding shower gift for the last of our best friends group who is tying the knot in May.

See? I just may manage to forget how much February sucks as a month!

Success!

Well, the surgery was a total success. I went for my follow-up appointment, today, and I have 20/20 vision. It’s likely to improve once more of the internal swelling goes down.

My eyes are definitely still sort of scratchy. That same sort of feeling as when you’ve worn your contacts for too long and they need to be taken out. This should clear up in the next few days, the doctor said.

I have two different sets of eye drops to take every four hours. One is a steroid and one is an antibiotic. Of course, I can use artificial tears anytime I feel I need them.

The surgery itself wasn’t exactly pleasant, but also wasn’t horrible (I think the 10mg of valium helped). It was weird being able to see the surgeon lift a flap of tissue off my eye and then replace it. Very weird. The Husband watched on closed circuit television and described it as “creepy.”

Immediately after the surgery, I put on these Bono Housefly goggle things that I would wear all day and night. The doctor gave me four words to remember: Eyes Closed, No Pain. So, I kept my eyes closed through picking up prescriptions and trying to direct my husband through a town that he doesn’t know very well. The problem was that his vision isn’t great. I’m the reader of street signs. So, we missed a couple of turns. Another problem is that I get carsick VERY easily. That, on top of the two Hydrocodone pills the doctor ordered immediately after the surgery made for a little pitstop along the road where I had to talk myself down from hurking while blind.

Sleep was the order of business for the rest of the day, and it was good. Sleeping with those googley-eyed goggles on wasn’t easy, but I persevered. :)

I was pleasantly surprised by the ease of sandwich-eating while unable to see the sandwich. The Husband said I looked funny because I’d stick my tongue out as a feeler – you know, to complete the all-around bug look. Sushi left over from the night before served as another easy-to-eat meal.

All in all, I am extremely glad that I had the surgery. I’ve wanted it for a very long time. I knew that I’d never save up the money for it, though. During health care open enrollment at my company, last year, I decided to set aside a large lump sum in my FSA. This way, the money would be pre-tax and come right out of my paycheck before I ever saw it. That’s the best way for me to save for anything. I admit that I did drop my 401(k) contribution just a bit to compensate for it, but I’m okay with that.

To conclude – If you’re a candidate and can afford it, I recommend it. Twenty minutes of a little uncomfortableness was worth not having to fight with glasses or contacts any longer.

One Item Down

Tomorrow, I’m having Lasik eye surgery. It’s one of the items on my 101 in 1001 list and is only the second item to be completed. Let’s hope they don’t blind me! (only sort of joking! I’m just a little nervous.)

In preparation, I bit the bullet and marked all 800 unread items in my Google Reader as read since I know that number would just exponentially skyrocket. I have to keep my eyes closed after the surgery for a while, so I’ve bought food for yummy turkey sandwiches that The Husband can make. Have you ever tried to eat with your eyes closed? I have a feeling I won’t be very good at it. That’s all the prep I’ve done.

Hopefully, come Friday’s post-op appointment, the doctor will pronounce me corrective vision apparatus free!