Fit to be Tied

Being a bewildered, first time bride, I started out my wedding planning at the hugely popular site The Knot. If you’ve ever been in a wedding, you know this place. Your brides sent you links to bridesmaids dresses and flower arrangements and you were forced to create a login to see these pages. I should have known, then, the horror that The Knot inspires. Once I filled out the correct forms, stating when the wedding would approximately be, at what stage I was in the planning process, etc. I learned that, after only 24 hours of engaged bliss, I had already failed to complete 10 items on their prescribed “To Do” list (from hell!). That might be an exageration, but I am sincere when I tell you that I logged on, today…a full two weeks and two days from the proposal to find that I was overdue on 15 items. Seriously!

So, The Knot and I aren’t friends. There are some good ideas in the form of pictures and Real Wedding references. There are good resources, I’m sure, if you live in New York City or any city whose population is larger than my whole state’s. The venue and bridal services registry is nearly nonexistent for my entire state. It may also be a good resource for someone who is highly unorganized and has a hard time remaining on task. However, this is not me. So far, here is a list of what I’ve accomplished:

-set up a bridal notebook
-selected a date – next fall
-selected/contracted a site – outdoor, historic
-selected colors – what else but green for me and brown for The Fiancee? (and you thought the new header was just pretty)
-made out a guest list, trimmed said list, trimmed said list again, stressed out over list, added people at my parents’ request, trimmed said list for (hopefully!) the final time
-selected bridesmaids, reader, program hander-outer
-rough-sketched the reception menu
-contracted a photographer – the awesome Clay Jackson
-selected and bought the pattern for the bridesmaid’s dresses
-completely planned the ceremony and compiled a “Still to Do/Rent” list for it
-designed the Save the Date cards and map to be sent with the invitation – see the awesome maps at SnappyMap for where I got my inspiration
-bought a wedding gown and an associated undergarment
-perused various resources (read: Google) for potential ceremony readings and vows
-started a music list
-contacted musicians for the ceremony
-started an Under-No-Circumstances-Are-You-To-Play-These-Songs list
-succeeded in driving my fiancee crazy

Who the hell are YOU, The Knot, to tell me that I am underachieving?!?!? Screw you. I didn’t even check out your stupid forums because I just know what they’ll be like.

Now that I’ve untied my relationship with The Knot, I’d like to tell you about some awesome alternatives I’ve found.

-Hot Pink Petticoat – an event planning blog with some fun ideas
-Snippet & Ink – the best site ever with daily inspiration and weekly Real Weddings
-The Preppy Wedding – I admit, that I’m a little intimidated by the J.Crew crowd in a Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles sort of way, but I secretly like the clean preppiness of it all
-Vintage Glam Blog – cool vintage bridal inspirations
-OffBeat Bride – awesome tips and tricks and comments and ideas for your not-so-traditional, dance to “Butterfly Kisses” with your dad wedding

Enjoy! (and I promise that it won’t totally be wedding all the time!)

Last Minute

In 48 hours, I will be hurtling toward New York City in a large metal canister. Holy shit. That sounds even scarier than I meant it to. In roughly 55 hours, that metal canister and I will be over a huge body of water. ACK!

I’ve made lists upon lists of clothes to pack, books to read, words in other languages to remember, etc. However, these are the very last minute things I need to do (I call the 48 hours prior to a major international trip last minute. You might not.):

• Fold and pack the laundry you did, last night.
• Make sure you have coordinating socks.
• Make sure you pick up your Euros, tomorrow.
• Make sure your IT guy gives you a laptop.
• Make sure your purse fits and is easily accessible in your bookbag, since you can only have one carry-on and a personal bag.
• Make sure your iPod is charged.
• Download a movie, or something, to watch since it looks like the airline is showing something crappy about America’s Treasure.

Crap. I know there’s more. I know I’m going to forget something major but not readily purchased in Europe like … oh, hell, I don’t know what, but there’s got to be something. They have Diet Coke in Europe, right? I need one of those in the morning (I’m trying not to ask for too much, like Diet Dr. Pepper, since I’d like to reserve all my good luck for the flying part).

Ugh. I have travel stress. It took me two hours to figure out my route from the airport to the hotel, and I’m still worried that the signs won’t read like my plan. I need to remember my guidebooks.

Crap.

100 Memories – The Last 50

The first 50 are here. This finishes the list of 100 memories I’d want to flash before my eyes. I’ve had a really good time thinking about all of these things. Here’s the second half:

51. Winning the first softball game of my senior season against the across-town rivals.

52. Watching B sing/make fun of any Creed song at karaoke and laughing my ass off.

53. EB’s 21st birthday – when we all partied harder than she did.

54. Hanging out on weekend nights at Kelley’s Garden before we could drive.

55. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Gracias!”

56. Listening to “Two Step” in Mer’s car.

57. Getting the call that my offer had been accepted by the bank that owned my house.

58. The day I decided to ride all the roller coasters I was afraid of at the amusement park and had a good time doing it.

59. The Amtrak train trip from Cincinnati to New York City.

60. Having a secret boyfriend and always anticipating the next time I’d get to see him.

61. The softball girls and all our silly antics in high school.

62. Challenging our moms to a drinking competition and easily beating them.

63. Driving an hour and a half to Texas just to say we’d been there.

64. New Year’s Eve parties @ Penny’s house.

65. Playing school with Grandma.

66. UK/Syracuse ‘96, UK/Arizona ‘97, UK/Utah ‘98

67. Riding down Dr. D’s stairs on a twin mattress.

68. Getting an excused absence from school to go with a big group of people to see Lilith Fair. Our principal deemed it a “learning experience.”

69. Senior Clap-in and Senior Clap-out.

70. Singing our Senior Class song, “A Little Help From My Friends,” when the whole class sang MUCH louder on the line, “I get high with a little help from my friends.”

71. Goosebumps during initiation.

72. Being really proud of my projects in Sculpture. Even though they were crap, the were crap that I MADE.

73. Racing home from the school bus to grab a snack and a drink and curl up in my bed with the book that I didn’t quite finish before my mom declared “Lights Out!” the night before.

74. Laying in bed at my grandparents’ house and listening to the steam radiators creaking and hissing and banging.

75. Singing “old timey” songs with my grandma on the swing – like “Clementine” and “Down in the Valley.”

76. Eating an apple the day that I got my braces off – I could just bite into it with no worries!

77. After work hugs.

78. Winning the state acting competition by beating the “elite” performing arts school.

79. Christmas nights singing carols with family and people that are nearly family in the old school house.

80. Knowing all the words to Snoop Dogg songs.

81. Jumping off SP’s deck into snowdrifts.

82. Playing pool in the garage on Ewing St.

83. Doing the “Victory” and “F-Rah” cheers at sporting events and knowing that we had some awesome school spirit.

84. Watching soccer tournaments ending in shootouts.

85. The beach wedding.

86. Central Kentucky horse farms in the spring after a quick rain shower – you’ll never see or smell anything prettier in the world.

87. Trampoline talks in the middle of the night.

88. Watching my aunts and uncles play volleyball at family reunions. (I thought they were so old and adult to get to play – now I realize that I am older, now, than most of them were, then.)

89. Watching Mad open her birthday presents on her second birthday – oohing and aahing and squealing in excitement over every single one.

90. The night we got sprayed by a skunk at Nick’s house.

91. Listening to drunks trying to finagle their way into a tent at the end of the night and agreeing with the boy in my tent that, under no circumstances, would anyone else be allowed in there.

92. Slumber parties with sumo wrestling and Headbanger’s Ball.

93. Getting to ride in a limo to a basketball game and then beating the team by 50 points.

94. Friday nights, downtown, with a band playing and sitting in the windows of the girls’ apartment, watching people on the street below.

95. Walking home from the bar to find the Christmas tree strung, upside down, from the chandelier – in March.

96. Expo Mullet Watching (coming again soon!).

97. The experience of a friend’s death – which had such glorious moments intertwined with such horrible ones.

98. Watching cartoons on Saturday mornings with a bowl of cereal and my stuffed chipmunk named Simon.

99. Feeling on top of the world the night of high school graduation.

100. Every second of happiness.

100 Memories – The First 50, Anyway

My friend, Melanie, at Hear Me in the Harmony recently posted a list of the 100 moments she’d want to flash before her eyes if she were to find herself in a perilous situation. I loved reading her entries and have been thinking about what my own response would be. Basically, my favorite moments in life. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Spending a warm spring night with two friends stealing flowers from gardens and placing them on the hoods of the cars of boys on whom we had crushes.
2. Singing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of our lungs on the patio in Myrtle Beach during our 8th grade trip.
3. Driving through the mountains of West Virginia one night keeping my dad company with the rest of the family sleeping in the backseat of the car – we listened to a Credence Clearwater Revival cassette numerous times and I learned all of the words to those great songs.
4. Standing on a log in Colorado, in order by birthdays, with my best friends in the whole world.
5. Driving on my favorite road after college graduation with the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and feeling completely and absolutely free for the first time in my life.
6. The smell of barbecue on July 4th morning through the windows of my grandparents’ dining room.
7. Christmas morning in “The Big Room.”
8. The Blizzard of ‘94 when we were stuck in the house for a week and worked a gigantic puzzle.
9. Sitting in a tree and talking about boys with the best friend anyone could have.
10. Watching college football with the girls and a hangover every Saturday during my senior year of college.
11. Going to basketball games with my mom.
12. Going to the NCAA tournament by myself and having a great time.
13. Realizing that neither one of us wanted it to be just a one time thing.
14. The weekend we built a beer-a-mid during a snowstorm in Virginia and everyone was there because no one was ready to be apart, just yet.
15. Riding bikes around the church.
16. Road trips with B. where we drove just to get ourselves lost.
17. Going back to Colorado and finding out that Dave would be there, again, too.
18. Making plans to steal sugar during the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s.
19. Drinking tequila shots, baring souls and telling each other we’re in love.
20. The Valentine’s Day I spent watching snow fall lightly at midnight.
21. Laughing for three straight hours after an entertaining trip to Ponderosa.
22. Wrapped up in the warmth of a down comforter, a boy and a kitty on a freezing night without heat.
23. Getting to hold my nephews for the very first time.
24. The experience of watching soldiers come home to families and friends – I’ve never seen a larger, simultaneous outpouring of love in one spot in all my life.
25. Standing at the front of the church, about to pass out from the heat, and grinning from ear to ear while my best friend married her best friend.
26. Grandpa taking us for rides in the utility cart pulled behind the lawn tractor.
27. Floating down the calm water with beauty all around.
28. Watching Bob walk straight into the glass sliding door at Folly Beach.
29. Standing next to Mare during the Survivor Ceremony at the Race for the Cure.
30. Our girls’ shopping weekend in Gatlinburg – sitting in the car wondering if there was a bear inside our cabin.
31. Being so afraid of my first motorcycle ride and then loving it.
32. Playing drunk football with all of my friends.
33. The night I watched “Cold Mountain” at Nick & Pen’s apartment while everyone else watched some gangster movie.
34. K’s bachelorette party where TP first called a mandolin a “pussy guitar.”
35. That one time when The Dixie Chicks performed just for my birthday and I laughed and cried and sang my way through the night.
36. Turning around to see TP wrestling a Scottish man to the ground.
37. The weekend before the soldier went to the Middle East.
38. Listening to the joy in my sister’s voice when her husband came home from Iraq.
39. Thinking that a boy wrote a song just for me, green eyes and all.
40. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Mondays during my freshman year of high school.
41. Driving home on a summer night to beat the dawn and smelling honeysuckle all the way.
42. Parents’ Day during my summer of captivity at Smart Kids Camp when my friends surprised me by coming, too.
43. Playing in tree houses with the next door neighbor boy.
44. Walking to the library with my mom and sister and getting a bag full of books to read.
45. The special occasions when my dad would take me to breakfast before school at my uncle’s restaurant.
46. Fireworks at the statehood bicentennial celebration.
47. Playing in the national softball tournament.
48. Hide and seek at night in the cemetery.
49. Sushi trips with my sister.
50. Playing Pai Gow and drinking mimosas early one morning at the Paris Casino with my mom.

A Letter To Me

I’ve had some issues with Brad Paisley songs in the past, and I know I’m not alone. However, I keep hearing his “Letter to Me” on the radio, and I like it. Here are the lyrics and here is a video (because Brad Paisley is worth watching – he’s got a cute grin). If you haven’t heard it and are too ornery to read the lyrics, it’s about an adult who thinks about what he would write if he could send a letter back in time to himself at age 17. It’s got some sweet and funny lines, but the PS gets me every single time. I know it’s coming, and every single time I hear it I choke up.

Listening to it, yesterday, on the ride home made me wonder what I would like to tell myself at age 17. In 10 years, what kind of perspective have I gained? Here are some things:

• Stop stressing out so much about getting into college. You aren’t conceited about your grades, but you know they are good – you’re going to be valedictorian. If you can’t get into college, who can? Relax and enjoy it.
• Take your sister and her friends to lunch, more often. Remember how you always wanted seniors to take you? She does, too, and her friends will think you’re awesome. Be nice and do it.
• Have the guts to ask that policeman what he’s implying when he stops you for no good reason other than the person who is riding in the car with you. You know he’s implying something that is racist and just plain wrong. Call him on it. What’s he going to arrest you for? Stand up for yourself and stand up for your boyfriend.
• Pay attention to that Valentine candygram you get. It will be important to you, later.
• Talk to your dad. You’re right about it, but you should remember that it’s just as hard for him as it is for you.
• You aren’t as fat or as ugly or as dorky as you think you are. Trust me on this.
• My PS would be exactly the same as Mr. Paisley’s, take out “Rita” and insert “Carol.”

What would you write to your 17-year old self?