100 Memories – The Last 50

The first 50 are here. This finishes the list of 100 memories I’d want to flash before my eyes. I’ve had a really good time thinking about all of these things. Here’s the second half:

51. Winning the first softball game of my senior season against the across-town rivals.

52. Watching B sing/make fun of any Creed song at karaoke and laughing my ass off.

53. EB’s 21st birthday – when we all partied harder than she did.

54. Hanging out on weekend nights at Kelley’s Garden before we could drive.

55. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Gracias!”

56. Listening to “Two Step” in Mer’s car.

57. Getting the call that my offer had been accepted by the bank that owned my house.

58. The day I decided to ride all the roller coasters I was afraid of at the amusement park and had a good time doing it.

59. The Amtrak train trip from Cincinnati to New York City.

60. Having a secret boyfriend and always anticipating the next time I’d get to see him.

61. The softball girls and all our silly antics in high school.

62. Challenging our moms to a drinking competition and easily beating them.

63. Driving an hour and a half to Texas just to say we’d been there.

64. New Year’s Eve parties @ Penny’s house.

65. Playing school with Grandma.

66. UK/Syracuse ‘96, UK/Arizona ‘97, UK/Utah ‘98

67. Riding down Dr. D’s stairs on a twin mattress.

68. Getting an excused absence from school to go with a big group of people to see Lilith Fair. Our principal deemed it a “learning experience.”

69. Senior Clap-in and Senior Clap-out.

70. Singing our Senior Class song, “A Little Help From My Friends,” when the whole class sang MUCH louder on the line, “I get high with a little help from my friends.”

71. Goosebumps during initiation.

72. Being really proud of my projects in Sculpture. Even though they were crap, the were crap that I MADE.

73. Racing home from the school bus to grab a snack and a drink and curl up in my bed with the book that I didn’t quite finish before my mom declared “Lights Out!” the night before.

74. Laying in bed at my grandparents’ house and listening to the steam radiators creaking and hissing and banging.

75. Singing “old timey” songs with my grandma on the swing – like “Clementine” and “Down in the Valley.”

76. Eating an apple the day that I got my braces off – I could just bite into it with no worries!

77. After work hugs.

78. Winning the state acting competition by beating the “elite” performing arts school.

79. Christmas nights singing carols with family and people that are nearly family in the old school house.

80. Knowing all the words to Snoop Dogg songs.

81. Jumping off SP’s deck into snowdrifts.

82. Playing pool in the garage on Ewing St.

83. Doing the “Victory” and “F-Rah” cheers at sporting events and knowing that we had some awesome school spirit.

84. Watching soccer tournaments ending in shootouts.

85. The beach wedding.

86. Central Kentucky horse farms in the spring after a quick rain shower – you’ll never see or smell anything prettier in the world.

87. Trampoline talks in the middle of the night.

88. Watching my aunts and uncles play volleyball at family reunions. (I thought they were so old and adult to get to play – now I realize that I am older, now, than most of them were, then.)

89. Watching Mad open her birthday presents on her second birthday – oohing and aahing and squealing in excitement over every single one.

90. The night we got sprayed by a skunk at Nick’s house.

91. Listening to drunks trying to finagle their way into a tent at the end of the night and agreeing with the boy in my tent that, under no circumstances, would anyone else be allowed in there.

92. Slumber parties with sumo wrestling and Headbanger’s Ball.

93. Getting to ride in a limo to a basketball game and then beating the team by 50 points.

94. Friday nights, downtown, with a band playing and sitting in the windows of the girls’ apartment, watching people on the street below.

95. Walking home from the bar to find the Christmas tree strung, upside down, from the chandelier – in March.

96. Expo Mullet Watching (coming again soon!).

97. The experience of a friend’s death – which had such glorious moments intertwined with such horrible ones.

98. Watching cartoons on Saturday mornings with a bowl of cereal and my stuffed chipmunk named Simon.

99. Feeling on top of the world the night of high school graduation.

100. Every second of happiness.

100 Memories – The First 50, Anyway

My friend, Melanie, at Hear Me in the Harmony recently posted a list of the 100 moments she’d want to flash before her eyes if she were to find herself in a perilous situation. I loved reading her entries and have been thinking about what my own response would be. Basically, my favorite moments in life. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Spending a warm spring night with two friends stealing flowers from gardens and placing them on the hoods of the cars of boys on whom we had crushes.
2. Singing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of our lungs on the patio in Myrtle Beach during our 8th grade trip.
3. Driving through the mountains of West Virginia one night keeping my dad company with the rest of the family sleeping in the backseat of the car – we listened to a Credence Clearwater Revival cassette numerous times and I learned all of the words to those great songs.
4. Standing on a log in Colorado, in order by birthdays, with my best friends in the whole world.
5. Driving on my favorite road after college graduation with the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and feeling completely and absolutely free for the first time in my life.
6. The smell of barbecue on July 4th morning through the windows of my grandparents’ dining room.
7. Christmas morning in “The Big Room.”
8. The Blizzard of ‘94 when we were stuck in the house for a week and worked a gigantic puzzle.
9. Sitting in a tree and talking about boys with the best friend anyone could have.
10. Watching college football with the girls and a hangover every Saturday during my senior year of college.
11. Going to basketball games with my mom.
12. Going to the NCAA tournament by myself and having a great time.
13. Realizing that neither one of us wanted it to be just a one time thing.
14. The weekend we built a beer-a-mid during a snowstorm in Virginia and everyone was there because no one was ready to be apart, just yet.
15. Riding bikes around the church.
16. Road trips with B. where we drove just to get ourselves lost.
17. Going back to Colorado and finding out that Dave would be there, again, too.
18. Making plans to steal sugar during the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s.
19. Drinking tequila shots, baring souls and telling each other we’re in love.
20. The Valentine’s Day I spent watching snow fall lightly at midnight.
21. Laughing for three straight hours after an entertaining trip to Ponderosa.
22. Wrapped up in the warmth of a down comforter, a boy and a kitty on a freezing night without heat.
23. Getting to hold my nephews for the very first time.
24. The experience of watching soldiers come home to families and friends – I’ve never seen a larger, simultaneous outpouring of love in one spot in all my life.
25. Standing at the front of the church, about to pass out from the heat, and grinning from ear to ear while my best friend married her best friend.
26. Grandpa taking us for rides in the utility cart pulled behind the lawn tractor.
27. Floating down the calm water with beauty all around.
28. Watching Bob walk straight into the glass sliding door at Folly Beach.
29. Standing next to Mare during the Survivor Ceremony at the Race for the Cure.
30. Our girls’ shopping weekend in Gatlinburg – sitting in the car wondering if there was a bear inside our cabin.
31. Being so afraid of my first motorcycle ride and then loving it.
32. Playing drunk football with all of my friends.
33. The night I watched “Cold Mountain” at Nick & Pen’s apartment while everyone else watched some gangster movie.
34. K’s bachelorette party where TP first called a mandolin a “pussy guitar.”
35. That one time when The Dixie Chicks performed just for my birthday and I laughed and cried and sang my way through the night.
36. Turning around to see TP wrestling a Scottish man to the ground.
37. The weekend before the soldier went to the Middle East.
38. Listening to the joy in my sister’s voice when her husband came home from Iraq.
39. Thinking that a boy wrote a song just for me, green eyes and all.
40. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Mondays during my freshman year of high school.
41. Driving home on a summer night to beat the dawn and smelling honeysuckle all the way.
42. Parents’ Day during my summer of captivity at Smart Kids Camp when my friends surprised me by coming, too.
43. Playing in tree houses with the next door neighbor boy.
44. Walking to the library with my mom and sister and getting a bag full of books to read.
45. The special occasions when my dad would take me to breakfast before school at my uncle’s restaurant.
46. Fireworks at the statehood bicentennial celebration.
47. Playing in the national softball tournament.
48. Hide and seek at night in the cemetery.
49. Sushi trips with my sister.
50. Playing Pai Gow and drinking mimosas early one morning at the Paris Casino with my mom.

A Letter To Me

I’ve had some issues with Brad Paisley songs in the past, and I know I’m not alone. However, I keep hearing his “Letter to Me” on the radio, and I like it. Here are the lyrics and here is a video (because Brad Paisley is worth watching – he’s got a cute grin). If you haven’t heard it and are too ornery to read the lyrics, it’s about an adult who thinks about what he would write if he could send a letter back in time to himself at age 17. It’s got some sweet and funny lines, but the PS gets me every single time. I know it’s coming, and every single time I hear it I choke up.

Listening to it, yesterday, on the ride home made me wonder what I would like to tell myself at age 17. In 10 years, what kind of perspective have I gained? Here are some things:

• Stop stressing out so much about getting into college. You aren’t conceited about your grades, but you know they are good – you’re going to be valedictorian. If you can’t get into college, who can? Relax and enjoy it.
• Take your sister and her friends to lunch, more often. Remember how you always wanted seniors to take you? She does, too, and her friends will think you’re awesome. Be nice and do it.
• Have the guts to ask that policeman what he’s implying when he stops you for no good reason other than the person who is riding in the car with you. You know he’s implying something that is racist and just plain wrong. Call him on it. What’s he going to arrest you for? Stand up for yourself and stand up for your boyfriend.
• Pay attention to that Valentine candygram you get. It will be important to you, later.
• Talk to your dad. You’re right about it, but you should remember that it’s just as hard for him as it is for you.
• You aren’t as fat or as ugly or as dorky as you think you are. Trust me on this.
• My PS would be exactly the same as Mr. Paisley’s, take out “Rita” and insert “Carol.”

What would you write to your 17-year old self?

1000 Strong

In checking my Flickr stats, today, I noticed that I have had 1,000 picture views. That’s probable a paltry number to the wonderful artists whose work is on Explore all the time, but I was excited to see it. I thought I’d pick an image or two to share with you.

This is the most viewed public image in my photostream.

For those of you reading who aren’t (gasp!) Kentucky fans, that is a picture of Sam Bowie. He played at Kentucky for three seasons and was drafted second in the 1984 NBA Draft – sandwiched between greats like Hakeem Olajuwon and Michael Jordan. I think if he hadn’t struggled with knee injuries, he could’ve been a hall of fame player. Back to the photo, though. I took this on February 10, 2004 at Rupp Arena after a basketball game. I think it’s a pretty boring shot and am surprised that it’s my “most viewed” of all time.

Most of my images are private because of safety concerns. I get caught up in events and taking lots of pictures with people in them so they don’t always qualify as interesting or having good (well, any, really) photographic composition. However, I think snapshots are the gateways to so many memories. My family often sits around on holidays going through boxes of old pictures and they can remember thousands of stories through those pictures. So, while I might enjoy looking at pictures of kayaks in creeks or rose petals, in the long run, I like snapshots of people I love better. (I do like shots of cows’ butts, too, though.) For the sake of equality, here is one “interesting” photo of people and here is one that brings back a great memory.

This is the interesting one. Although I can find flaws in every picture of myself (my eyes are stupid lopsided, too much gum shows, etc.) I really like this of my cousin and I. I let her have the camera for a while, last Saturday, and she took all kinds of crazy pictures. This one is cool, though, to me. I like faces. They are all so different.

I love this picture. Not just because the boys are being goofballs, but because I love all those people in the picture and I loved that day. We were all completely hungover because the night before was spent ringing in the New Year at a remote cabin with lots of alcohol, a hot tub, and a fire pit, but we were determined to hike to the top of Natural Bridge. It’s only, like, a 3 mile hike. To a bunch of hungover people, though, that seemed like 10 miles. You never heard so much bitching and moaning! It was so fun, though, our shared misery. We saw lots of cool things along our hike, but this shot shows us as what we were, a close group of friends (with some notables missing!) having a great time just hanging out together. We didn’t need fancy bars or swanky cocktail parties or even a holiday to have fun together. We could have fun even in the direst of champagne-induced headaches.

The Memory I’d Take

I found a new little bit of the internet to read, and I’m really liking the content and writing style. Recently, this blogger answered the question: “If you were going to get amnesia and could only have one memory to take with you, what would it be?” She challenged her readers to do the same.

This is a really, really hard question for me. I’m sure it is for many people. I have some great memories that are significant in different ways. I don’t have one memory (like a wedding – which was a popular answer) that involves the various groups of people in my life. I remember how great it felt to graduate from college. I remember the many times my friends and I laughed at one of our antics. I remember seeing babies for the first time and finding them perfect examples of what is good in the world.

When I started thinking about this, one memory kept pushing itself to the surface like the know-it-all in second grade who wants to answer every single question in math class – the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend 2004. Where’d that come from? It’s not exactly a serene, happy memory. It’s bittersweet and it hurts to think about for too long. If I were going to get amnesia, though, wouldn’t I want to remember the good with the bad, remember that with great love also comes great sadness?

My favorite aunt (and I’m not afraid of hurting my other aunts’ feelings by saying this, I think they probably know) was diagnosed with cancer in April of 2004 – about this time, actually. She’d had cancer, before, when I was a little kid. She recovered from that with seemingly no lasting effects. In my own self-absorbed 24-year old self way, I kind of figured it would be the same thing, again. Yeah, sure, it sucked, but it would turn out alright in the end. I should have seen the worry and fear in the women’s eyes, though – my mom’s, my aunt’s, her daughter’s.

The cancer advanced rapidly. By the middle of May, it was pretty evident that my aunt would not be well for a very long time. My brain answers, “If ever,” but I’m not sure I thought that, then. I remember when the decision was made that she wouldn’t be able to attend my sister’s wedding, when I learned that she’d stopped working on her wedding gift quilt. That’s when reality set in for me. She wouldn’t do either of those things by choice.

Even though the whole family had just been together at the wedding, we organized a good old fashioned family barbecue. All but the farthest-away members of the family came (and we missed those folks and talked about missing them). Our family events never just include family, though. There’s a huge extended family and there are always family friends that we really treat like family. This barbecue was a huge event and it was held at my aunt and uncle’s house near my family’s hometown (which is closer to a bend in the road than a town, these days).

I remember the day as being beautiful. It was a typical spring day in Kentucky. The grass was green, the flower garden blooming, the sky a pretty shade of blue, and the smell from the barbecue good enough to make a vegetarian’s mouth water. My cousin had just started summer baseball and I played catch with him. The little girls and I drew their names on the sidewalk with chalk. There were people all around the yard sitting and reminiscing, or breaking into laughter, or quietly drinking it all into their memory. All in all, it was a glorious day filled with people that I love. We all were having a good time, even though we could tell that my aunt was tired and there was a ball of dread in each of our stomachs.

We took big family photos. There were lots of takes and none of them are perfect – someone’s eyes are closed, one of the kids is looking the wrong way – but they all show how we felt that day. Some of our eyes are tired, but all of our smiles and hugs are genuine. The one memory I’d want to keep is the memory of that day and those smiles. That memory hangs in the front room of my house and I pass it, each day, remembering what it was like to be my aunt’s niece.

As it turns out, the next big family get-together was my aunt’s funeral in early July. It, too, was a beautiful day – one that I’d rather wish hadn’t happened than remember – but one that I doubt even amnesia would erase.